Topic - 90-10 Principle

Description
• It is the ability to handle any situation without getting ruffled.
• This can be used in almost every situation in life, anywhere, everywhere and with anyone.
• It helps us to change a problematic situation into manageable situation.

Intent
• Discover the 90/10 Principle as It will change our life.
• Apply this principle and avoid undeserved stress, trials, problems, and heartache.
• We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. The other 90% is different. We determine the other 90%!

Example situation for the facilitator
You’re eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize them for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed zone.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because the way you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the Policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “It’s OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time.” Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both

Questions
In a situation, when provoked what do you do?
What makes you to react in a situation?
Have you ever felt that a day was particularly a very bad day?
Can you share experiences where you had responded instead of reacting?

Situations for students
1. Your mother asks you to go to the market. But you want to study. So you refuse to go. Your mother scolds you very badly. You get extremely angry. But still you ignore your anger and go to the market.
2. Your family is going on a tour. The van breaks down on the way. Every
One is disappointed. The van cleaner walks down to the nearby town and
brings a mechanic. The van gets repaired and you continue the journey.
3. Three people decide to take an auto to central station. One of them calls for an auto, but does not bargain the amount. All the three of them reach central. The auto driver charges 20 rupees more. The person who paid feels cheated and gets extremely angry and shouts at the driver.
4. A person travels to a new place. While returning the person is alone. And the train ticket is not yet confirmed.

Students Response
1. Action: Not studying the lessons as told by the teacher
Reaction: teacher’s anger
Response: understanding that and reading the lessons the next time.

2. Action: mother doesn’t cook food
Reaction: daughter gets angry
Response: father pacifies
3. Action: not taking pen to the exam
Reaction: she forgets all answers
Response: teacher gives her a pen. She wrote the exam well.
Activity: Role plays
Scene 1
Morning 6’ o clock, newspaper arrives. The brother and sister of the house fight with each other as to who will read the paper first. Both of them pull the paper and it gets torn. Father shouts at them.
Scene 2
Both of them fight for the newspaper. The brother suggests that they can share and read.

V-Set Value Club – Topic: Your best friend and your worst enemy

Description:

In day to life, some of us have our best friends and enemies as well. In fact, the real friend or enemy is not outside of us but inside. Our mind can be either our best friend or our worst enemy. If we run after the fancy of the mind and do whatever it asks, our mind becomes our worst enemy. If we encourage the mind to think in the right direction and regulate its functioning, our mind becomes our best friend.

Intent:

To know the difference when our mind function as a friend or enemy
To encourage students to train their mind as a best friend
To make conscious effort every day to achieve this purpose

If mind acts according to my dictates then it is my friend
If I act according to the dictates of my mind then it is my enemy

Example: Rowdies and rogues involved in various crimes – their mind is their worst enemy. People living a conscientious life in individual level, professional level, family level and social level – their mind is their best friend.

Question:

When our mind turns into our worst enemy?
When our mind becomes our best friend?
What can we do to always befriend our mind?


Situation:

Worst enemy:
(We have to provide the following clues to the students to enable them to think and express their views)
 I want to study well to get good marks but I could not do so.
 At home my Dad and Mum scold me often and I argue with them. I don’t want to argue. But I could not do so.
 I fought with my friend and I stopped talking with my friend. After a few days my friend wanted to talk to me. But I could not do so.
 My friend calls me by nick name and mock at me. I wanted to ignore his comments. But I could not do so.
 I get amused when I tease my friends. Some of them feel offended. Some times I feel I should not hurt my friends’ feelings. But I could not do so.
 I am advised not to eat Ice cream and chocolates more. But I could not stop doing it.
 Elders at home always give me useful advice. I don’t give any heed to them though I want to follow.
 When we waste our time in gossiping and roaming during exam time.

Best Friend:

 When my mind tempts me to go in wrong ways like smoking, drinking etc. and my mind says firm ‘No’, then it becomes my best friend.
 When my friends tease me and make fun of me and my mind wants to react sharply, I counsel my mind, after all they are my friends, don’t take them seriously. Then my mind is my friend.
 Once upon a time my uncle gave lots of troubles to our family. Many times I have seen my mother in tears. One year back my uncle passed away with heart attack. His family is now in dire circumstances. My mother has started doing all kinds of help to my uncle’s family. Now I can say my mother’s mind is her best friend. I am also supporting my mother.
 When every one of us leaves the class room, I will wait and switch off the light and fan.
 When I expect flattery from others and do things to get others attention, my mind works as an enemy.
 When I am courageous my mind becomes best friend.
 I talked with my friend casually who betrayed me to the teacher the other day.
 When I am true to my friends my mind becomes best friend.

Vivekananda's Quotes
"I am the thread that runs through all these pearls," and each pearl is a religion or even a sect thereof. Such are the different pearls, and God is the thread that runs through all of them; most people, however, are entirely unconscious of it.
"I do not want to get material life, do not want the sense-life, but something higher." That is renunciation. Then, by the power of meditation, undo the mischief that has been done.